Sunday, I received a call from Mom begging me to come over. I could barely understand her and she was in a panic, so my brother, Daniel, and I headed over. She was having severe floppy tremors (to where she couldn't hold anything) and hadn't eaten, drank, or eliminated a thing for three days. She also couldn't stand and hadn't left her bed during that time.
My brother and I insisted that she go to the hospital. She didn't feel she needed to go, but we gave her zero choice.
Monday, they inform us that she has severe pneumonia and critically high amounts of potassium. I get her to eat a teensy bit of food (which in total of all the food she had eaten maybe totaled 500 calories over five days), we hug her and tell her goodnight.
Tuesday, I get a call from the hospital. Mom has too much carbon dioxide in her blood, is not producing urine, and will be moved into the ICU and intibated. My brother heads down and is immediately informed that it's serious enough that I really should be there, too. We get in, they tell us that she's critically ill and that there's sooooo many things wrong with her (congestive heart failure, leg ulcers that haven't been taken very good care of, the pneumonia, an alarming amount of water in her body) that she has about a 50% survival chance.
Yesterday, they call me and tell me that since Mom can't make decisions for herself while she's sedated and intibated that it's all up to me. (No pressure.) She is also in acute renal failure (kidneys). They went over a couple of proceedures they wanted to do, one involving kidneys and one involving putting a tube in a vein in the neck to measure the amount of fluid in the body that could potentially damage the lungs. Because we never had The Conversation with Mom regarding what lengths she would like us to go to, I tell them to do everything they can. Jess goes down there but leaves immediately, as there's nothing more to do but wait.
I called this morning for an update. They said that she's breathing muuuuch better on the ventilator and is producing a teensy bit more urine, but they will know more after morning rounds are done.
It's been rough. I'm actually in decent spirits for the first time in daaays today... maybe that has something to do with the fact I actually had ten hours of sound sleep? The nights before had been spent with nightmares and other issues.
Work has offered me as much time off as I need in order to deal with stuff. I went to work yesterday, just so that I could go through the motions of SOMEthing. I was only sitting here and thinking and waiting, afterall. I spent only four hours there - it felt like sixteen - and I accomplished almost nothing. I finally just clocked out and came home. My shift is covered for today and I have tomorrow off, so the soonest I'll have to return is Saturday at 1 pm.
What truly amazes me is the amount of people coming out of the woodwork to express their love and concern. People we haven't heard from in yeeears. The largest offers of help and emotional support have come from sources we expected least - from friends we see only a couple of times a year, from random coworkers, from all of YOU. We've had multiple calls and statements from friends saying that their entire churches are praying for us (Jess and I consider ourselves spiritual people, but not necessarily Christians). We've even received calls from people we do not know, expressing their hopes and offers of help.
So thank you all so much. It absolutely means the world.