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Aug. 17th, 2009

Mom update:

They've got her kidneys, heart, and lungs working as good as possible, though there is permanent damage. The reality, unfortunately, is that where she currently is IS her reality, most likely for the rest of her life. Very much heart breaking. She's only 59 for pete's sake, not 89. They're moving her from the ICU today to Vibra in Portland for a 30 day stay, as Pacific Specialty is obviously not taking care of her. As they put it, "they can't keep up with her current needs." Terrifying to know that she has no option BUT to return to Pacific Specialty after one month, although they ignored the fact that she lost all grip with reality, couldn't stay awake, had one half of her body double in size, etc., for THREE DAYS and still almost wouldn't allow my brother to arrange for her to go to the hospital. The doctors discovered that everything was the result of kidney failure, deadly high levels of potassium, and dangerously high levels of CO2. This, of course, isn't taking into consideration the massive amounts of dirt and grime all over her body, the alarming amount of peeling and dead skin, the obvious evidence of no teeth brushing in DAAAAYs, etc.

Alas, there's one more issue. Because of all of her hospital stays and such, she's suffered.... a psychotic break of sorts. Although everything has been corrected to the point where the ICU had sent her back to Pacific Specialty the last visit she had (only a month ago), and she has woken up from her heavy sedation, she has noooo freaking clue where she is. She experiences frequent bouts of panic and severe depression, followed by elation and stern problem-solving skill-ing, in about a fifteen second rotation. She thankfully still recognizes my brother and I, though whenever we ask her if she knows where she is and why, we get varying answers. She's at a party at Richard's (whoever that is), she's in Longview, she's at a bar. When I visited her recently, she gave me serious instructions as to how to rearrange the furniture in the ICU, shortly before she requested I roll down the windows. She insisted I take her down the hall to investigate, seemed repeatedly surprised at her garb, and tried to smoke her trach filter like a bong.

It would be borderline amusing, if there wasn't a massive fear that this is how she's going to be for the rest of her life.

The doctor says that they see this happen occasionally, because of a long period of being half naked, having zero privacy, and having a rotating cast of complete strangers interrupting your existence continually to prod and poke at you.

Meanwhile, we're still holding onto her apartment. This may change soon, though, as her roommate/boyfriend/thing has apparently been getting into a severe feud with one of the neighbors and the cops are called a LOT, several times a week. The apartments are in a small complex, about ten apartments, and are owned by a man who doesn't follow traditional rules that larger property management companies do. From working in property management for a couple of years, I know that most other places will serve you an eviction notice after the first police involvement. Even with the slightly different rules, I'm terrified and highly irritated that Phil may lose the apartment before we have a chance and opportunity to deal with Mom's belongings. Yes, yes, Mom hasn't been home since March 8th, but we have been holding onto the hope that she would be able to return one day.

This, it seems, is no longer possible.

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Comments

( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
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i_beckygardens
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)

I'm so sorry you're in such a mess and that she's doing so poorly:( I hope they do better by her this time.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
We're actually in okay spirits, for the most part. As my brother said to someone, nothing they tell us now can be nearly as awful as what we experienced when this first hit in March.
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(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)
Thankfully, my work is mostly understanding about my, uh... moodswings ;)
gldngrrl
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:23 pm (UTC)
sorry things are so rough. What your mom is going through is typical though, it's the ICU psychosis. It can get to even the most sane patients.
What has her mental status been through out her life? If she's had troubles before, it may be hard for her to hold it together in the face of such extreme health issues.

I hope things get better and she starts feeling herself again soon. a steady routine, day night schedule and familiar faces will help.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:30 pm (UTC)
She's had depression for most of it, had tried suicide once or twice, had stays in mental facilities, not to mention a LOT of drug and alcohol use between ages 20 and 50.
(no subject) - gldngrrl - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - brosely - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gldngrrl - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gldngrrl - Aug. 17th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 17th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gldngrrl - Aug. 17th, 2009 08:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
jecook
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:30 pm (UTC)
*sends fluffy hugs*
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
Those are the best kind!!
faetal
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
you know I'm almost always mentally hugging you these days. I dont know what to say anymore. I'm so saddened by whats been going on, but apparently I'm too retarded to say the right words.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
No problem, love. I think a lot about you and your mother and remembering about how your story unfolded and how empathizingly and emotionally retarded I was during all of that. I continuously wish that I could have done more for you and her then.
la_cowntessa
Aug. 17th, 2009 06:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear thing, hon. *hugs* I am thinking of you and I hope things get better, fast.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Unfortunately, not much improvement can be had. It's just a waiting game now, which is the part that I hate so much - nothing I can do.
operatic
Aug. 17th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
*hug!*
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you, sir.
newroticgirl
Aug. 17th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
*much love*

If you need hands/help with dealing with stuff, lemme know. Like if you need to go retrieve stuff from the apartment, the Wonder Wagon is at your disposal.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:49 pm (UTC)
That means a lot, thank you. Dealing with the apartment is going to be tres difficult, as it's in such... really awful condition and I'm deathly allergic to dust - in March when we just slightly rearranged furniture so that the paramedics could come in and get Mom, I had such an awful reaction that my throat and lungs hurt for days.
sircaliban
Aug. 17th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
*hugs*.. you and your family are still in my prayers.

aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much.
randwulf
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:06 pm (UTC)
Well wishes and strength your way!
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'll take gallons of both!!
a_muse_d
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:12 pm (UTC)
good crap, that's a massive amount of negligence. does she have a social worker, or could you contact one? is it possible to sue them for this blatant neglect BEFORE she dies so she can be properly taken care of? i'm sure there's some kind of group out there for human dignity that could help.

*hugs* honey, keep being strong.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
My brother is oh so much more aggressive than I, so he's dealing with that portion of things. I can't imagine how much longer she would have lasted if my brother hadn't just swung by to say hi on the way to the river.
ignusfaatus
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
What kind of disease started all of this?
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC)
When she had called us back in March, saying she didn't feel well, she hadn't gone to the bathroom in days, hadn't stood up in days, had severe tremors and confusion. After getting her into the hospital, they said she had dangerously high levels of potassium and kidney failure, as well as pneumonia. Lung and heart failure followed shortly after - not complete, of course, but sections of her lung and heart will never work again. They also discovered she has an enlarged heart.

Basically, it's all severe complications from a giantly sedentary life, diabetes, and obesity. She had had congestive heart failure a couple of years ago and was better on her eating and other habits for awhile, but...
badrahessa
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
If you can think of anything I can do to help please let me know. I can't imagine how difficult this has to be for you and your entire family.

*hugs just don't seem like enough*
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you, that means so much.
bigstusexy
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry to hear this. I've said and heard thoes words so many times in my life I don't know what meaning they hold really. Try to make the best of your interactions and always remember the good things and the wonderful things she has give/been to you. Give her a nice warm smile when you see her.

A big hug to you two and I hope for the best.
aubkabob
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks.
supervenusfreak
Aug. 17th, 2009 10:32 pm (UTC)
Big bear hugs from us here too. You are a strong woman and I know you will do the right thing for your mom.
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